Creating a new habit…for real!

Firstly, if you are currently experiencing a challenge ~ or perhaps several ~ mentally, emotionally, or physically, I’m holding space for you.

Every morning I light an extra candle for those who are directly or indirectly having a difficult time. There is a lot happening in the world right now, and I feel deeply that this is a moment to ground ourselves, to rest whenever we can, and to allow ourselves to feel, so that we can show up with clarity and presence as best we’re able. And please, reach out if you need support.

Recently, I decided to create a new habit… for real this time!

I think I’ve mentioned before that I don’t have addictive tendencies ~ something I’m very grateful for. I’m also not naturally a disciplined person. Discipline, for me, has been something cultivated slowly over many years.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

• First: to be disciplined, you have to genuinely want to do the thing you’re committing to. Not a maybe. A real yes.

• Second: research shows that new habits are far more likely to stick when they’re attached to something you already do regularly.

• And finally ~ and this one changed everything for me ~ I learned from my teacher to think of discipline not as effort or force, but as devotion. That reframing made so much sense. When something truly matters to us, it becomes a devotion rather than a chore.

The real question, then, is why?

Why do I want to create this new habit?
What will it offer me, and what might it offer the wider community around me?
What is my deeper motivation?

For me, I wanted to make more space in my day to read. Reading brings me joy, supports my learning and growth, and ultimately helps me show up more fully in the work I share with you. That’s my why.

Next came the how.

Where could this habit naturally fit? I already have a well-established morning meditation practice, so I decided to link my new habit to something that was already in place. I also noticed a pattern I didn’t love. After meditating, I’d often reach straight for my phone. So instead, I began substituting just 15–20 minutes of scrolling with reading.

It doesn’t have to be much.
This is important.

When starting a new habit, gentleness matters.

Go slowly. Be kind to yourself. Let go of perfection. I don’t do any of this perfectly, I never have, and that’s okay. In this way, the habit doesn’t feel overwhelming, and it’s much more likely to last.

I’m wondering ~ have you been thinking about creating a new habit, but haven’t quite found the time, or the consistency, or the right entry point?

Lastly ~ and this feels important to say ~ it has to be fun!

Life is far too short (and far too serious already) if we don’t allow ourselves a little lightness and a giggle here and there.

Thank you for being here.

With love,

Zoe